Why this project
Abuse rarely announces itself. It can build slowly, hide behind love, and leave people doubting what they see – whether it's happening to them or to someone they care about. Tessel ten Zweege's books opened a national conversation in the Netherlands. We want to carry that conversation further: across the language barrier into English, and far beyond a single story.
So we're doing two things. We're translating the book into English and making both the English and Dutch editions available to buy. And – more importantly – we're building a public resource hub around it: practical, accessible information for recognising, naming and responding to partner violence, in an empowering tone that helps people take back control and gives those around them the means to step in.
A multilingual help resource
The hub launches in English and Dutch, with the plan to add more languages over time. As it grows, we're working toward sections along these lines (not everything appears at once – accuracy and safety come before speed):
- Warning signs – for you: a checklist of red flags to recognise in your own relationship.
- Warning signs – for the people around you: a counterpart checklist for when you're worried about someone else.
- Glossary: plain-language definitions so patterns and dynamics can be named clearly.
- Stories & voices: room for survivor and ally perspectives, potentially including moderated reader contributions.
- Resources nearby: helplines, organisations and services – starting with the Netherlands and Europe, and where to turn next.
- Tips for afterwards: gentle, practical guidance for rebuilding safety and wellbeing once you've left.
- Offering help safely: tactics like discreet hand signals, “safe word” campaigns, help stickers and other tools allies can use.
- Facts & figures: the numbers and patterns that show how common coercive and abusive dynamics really are.
- Feminist wisdom: short, survivor-centred ideas that sharpen awareness without minimising harm.
We also seek out collaboration with organisations working in this field. If your organisation works in these spaces, read more about how we collaborate.
Growing into new regions
We're starting in English and Dutch, but the plan is to keep expanding. As the project grows we want to add new regions and languages, each with its own local help sources – the right helplines, organisations and reporting routes for that country – so the information stays genuinely useful wherever someone reads it. Partner violence crosses every border; we want this resource to do the same.
Built as a non-profit
This is an impact project, not a commercial one. The only thing we sell is the book itself – everything else on this site is free to use. We're seeking grants and funding to cover the costs of creating the project: research, building the website, and the out-of-pocket work behind it. Any income from the project goes back into keeping it running and reaching more people, not into anyone's pocket.
Our goal is simple: to give people handholds for dealing with situations where partner violence plays a role – informative, but above all accessible and empowering.
How you can help
We can only do this with support. Buying the book helps. So does sharing this site with someone who might need it. And donations directly fund the translation, the research and the free resources that make this hub possible – and they fuel the expansion into new regions and languages, each with its own local help sources – so we can reach as many people as possible, in the Netherlands and across the border.