What we're building
The site is designed to complement the books: we share contextual information that does not belong in the book's intimate core narrative, and expand it with material that speaks to someone in an unsafe relationship – as well as to friends, family, colleagues and bystanders who want to respond well. You can already pre-order the English edition on the homepage; the Dutch original remains widely available via retailers such as bol.com (linked from the homepage). Over time we plan to broaden what lives here – from reference tools and real-life perspectives to collaborations with specialist organisations.
Planned focal areas
As the hub develops, we're working toward sections along these lines (not everything will appear at once):
- For you: a checklist of possible warning signs in your relationship.
- For people around you: a counterpart checklist when you're worried about someone else.
- Language: a glossary so patterns and dynamics can be named clearly.
- Stories & voices: room for perspectives from survivors and allies (including moderated reader contributions).
- Resources: helplines, reading, organisations – especially where Dutch and European readers can step next.
- After you leave: gentle, practical reminders for rebuilding safety and wellbeing.
- Offering help safely: tactics such as discreet signals, “safe word” initiatives, stickers and other offline tools allies can use.
- Context: numbers, facts and patterns that explain how common coercive and abusive dynamics are.
- Wisdom to hold: short feminist and survivor-centred ideas that sharpen awareness without minimising harm.
Everything will be iterated with care – accuracy and safety come before speed.
Who we align with
We want to build and maintain relationships with NGOs, knowledge institutes and survivor-support networks whose mission overlaps with ours. Nothing here implies formal endorsement of any organisation unless we say so explicitly; we pursue shared fields of work responsibly. If your organisation works in these spaces, read more about how we collaborate.
The team behind this project
Tessel ten Zweege (she/her) is the author of Dat Zou Jij Nooit Toelaten / You Would Never Let That Happen.
Tessel ten Zweege is a Dutch journalist, author and speaker whose work helps people name and leave abusive relationships. Her debut Dat Zou Jij Nooit Toelaten ignited a national conversation in the Netherlands about coercive control.
Through her platform, books, articles, podcast and live events, Tessel reaches hundreds of thousands of people. The English edition opens that conversation to the world. Her journalism, platform and advocacy created the groundwork for everything you see here; she continues to steer this project's voice and survivor-centred ethos.
Sebastian Kersten (he/him) co-founded This is us Books in 2019 with Sam Hil Atalanta: a house focused on inclusivity, putting people who are rarely represented in mainstream media at the centre of its list. Sebastian is an activist entrepreneur working across ethical technology, education, and feminist and queer entrepreneurship. He is a co-founder of the journalism platform De Correspondent, among others, and a co-initiator of Stichting Saarein, an organisation devoted to preserving Saarein, the historic Amsterdam queer and women's café, and to strengthening the rights of women and the LGBTQAIP+ community.
Sam Hil Atalanta (they/them) co-founded This is us Books and is a queer, non-binary illustrator and oil painter based in Amsterdam. Through The Vulva Gallery, The Body Diversity Gallery, and You're Welcome Club they explore diversity, tenderness and sexual-health literacy in work that has reached millions of readers alongside publishers and health organisations.